The Ticket Sports Network is asking all football fans for your participation in our “Games of the Week” pick’em contest! Big-time prizes on the line for the winners and top finishers at season’s end.

Simply do one of the following to officially be included: email your picks to me, Marc Ryan, at marcr1977@gmail.com, tweet them to me - @marcryanonair - or simply comment on this post with your picks for this week.

Without further ado, your pick’em contest games for week 1 - and remember, all you have to do is pick the winner!

Boise St. vs. VT (neutral field)
LSU vs. UNC (neutral field)
Pitt @ Utah
Oregon St. @ TCU
Southern Miss @ South Carolina
Washington @ BYU
Purdue @ Notre Dame
Kentucky @ Louisville
Illinois @ Missouri
USC @ Hawaii

And for your viewing pleasure, the Week One picks from your caring and loving hosts - myself, Chad Brillante, and Rob Brown.

Marc’s picks - VT, LSU, Utah, TCU, South Carolina, BYU, Notre Dame, Kentucky, Mizzoooo, USC

Chad’s picks - Boise St., LSU, Pitt, TCU, South Carolina, BYU, Notre Dame, Kentucky, Missouri, USC

Rob’s picks - VT, LSU, Utah, Oregon St., South Carolina, BYU, Purdue, Kentucky, Missouri, USC

Looking forward to beating all of you in The Ticket Sports Network’s pick’em contest this year!

Marc Ryan
(posting on Rob’s account due to tempermental nature of Wordpress’ admin page this morning)

Rob Brown General

Finally: it’s game week. Finally, we can all sit down together and share a beer while we watch teams we don’t care about pound the hell out of teams we care less about. But hey - we’ll take it. Bad football is greater than no football at all, yes?

That being said: let’s make some fearless predictions on the SEC season of 2010.

———————————————

OFFENSIVE MVP:

Took me quite a few minutes to come up with this one - mostly because I had to figure out if you could put one 1,000 yard rusher in the MVP spot when you have two of them on the same team. Is one guy with 1,200 yards really heads and shoulders more valuable then a guy with 1,300 yards? That certainly will be the case with Mark Ingram and Trent Richardson at Alabama. The fact is, without one of these guys, the other one easily doubles his rushing yards (with double the carries,) and becomes a runaway favorite for the SEC’s MVP title. However, when you have a pair of guys producing at the same level, one can’t be “most valuable.”

However, at Arkansas plays a quarterback named Ryan Mallett - a 6′5″ monster of a man who Peyton Manning looks up to. No, seriously - Peyton is 6′4″, he’s shorter than Mallett. And statistically, his UT career may end up coming short of Mallett’s as well, should Mallett continue where he left off last year. Only two games (LSU and Alabama) did Mallett have a passer rating below 100, and five contests he skyrocketed past 300 yards in the air - including on a few SEC defenses - while three games he found end zone five times.

The 20-17 victory over upstart East Carolina in the Liberty Bowl certainly wasn’t the season finale Mallett wanted. Don’t be surprised to see him come out with a bone to pick with the rest of the SEC.

Of course, the big question will be: can Mallett score enough to keep up with the “VISITORS” side of the scoreboard that will look like a slot machine with the way opponents score points against Arkansas’s defense?

DEFENSIVE MVP:

With defenses being the strength of the SEC (ask any SEC fan, they’ll scream at you until you’re read in the face if you don’t agree,) this might have been even tougher to pick then the offensive side of the football where it was pretty much limited to Alabama RB’s v. Arkansas QB.

On this side we see All-Americans all over the field. Linebackers from four teams were considered, defensive linemen from 4 and defensive backs from .. well, almost every single team .. were nominated.

And one of them won.

Patrick Peterson might be the best defensive back in the country this year - and there are some very good ones. Peterson entered LSU as a five star recruit, and has not disappointed. While his stats from the 2009 season were anything but stellar, they were WELL above average as a sophomore in his first year as a starter. And a good portion of the reason they were average? Teams don’t throw to his side. They know better. He’s a Darrell Revis type player: a guy who can lock down an entire half of the field just by being there. Quarterbacks don’t throw at him, and the best WR’s are typically found on the other side of the pitch. Last year, he all but shutdown two of the best receivers in the conference holding both A.J. Green of Georgia and Julio Jones of Alabama to very substandard performances.

While Dont’a Hightower of Alabama may end up being better than first round draft pick Rolando McClain was in the same position, and Ole Miss defensive lineman Jerrell Powe may dominate offensive lines all year long. But the difference is while we MAY see those two guys doing they’re thing, we KNOW we’ll see Peterson shutting down passing offenses - at least, Les Miles better hope so. Those pants are getting a bit warm…

SURPRISE TEAM:

The Auburn Tigers were so close last year. Not to a winning season, no. To something far more important.

To beating Alabama in the Iron Bowl and ruining their perfect season. At the time, it looked like first year coach Gene Chizik was well on his way to endearing himself to Auburn fans in a way no one would’ve possibly imagined when fans were booing him upon his arrival to the Plains.

All of the sudden, with three and most of the fourth quarter over, Auburn found themselves leading the heavy favorite before a 79 yard heartbreaker of a game winning drive propelled Alabama to the SEC championship game, and propelled Auburn fans out of Jordan-Hare with broken hearts - and incredibly high aspirations for the future.

And this year, the Tigers will live up to them. With all they put on the field last year, and all the additions they made (including the addition of former five star recruit and former Florida Gator Cameron Newton at quarterback) over the offeseason, as well as the breakout of defensive players such as Josh Bynes, how can they NOT be better? This is a team that gave us only a 3-5 record in the SEC last year. But, then again, with games against #2 Alabama (an almost win,) and at #10 LSU (while they were on a hot streak,) and a run between the hedges at Georgia.

This year, with dramatically improved quarterback play and Mario Fannin replacing the NFL drafted Ben Tate, as well as a slew of other play makers who have stepped up in the preseason, this Auburn team could be good. Scary good.

MOST DISAPPOINTING TEAM:

South Carolina. What’s the difference between this year and last year’s team? Freshman running back Marcus Lattimore, a guy wanted by Alabama, and Florida, and Florida State .. and, well, just about everyone else in the south. But, other than that, it’s another where Coach Steve Spurrier has set the bar high, and done so for a team that can’t possibly reach it. Stephen Garcia is a great quarterback. Just ask him. The rest of the SEC disagrees, but he doesn’t. Coach Spurrier has continued to call him out for disappointing play in the preseason and, outside of Lattimore, who else is going to pick up that slack?

The defense is mediocre and nothing more than average in the SEC, and can’t be relied to make up points in games where the offense sputters.

Last year, this category was held by an Ole Miss team I correctly predicted would lose at least three games, and it was tough not to pick them again this year - but the expectations on the Runnin’ Rebels has dropped dramatically and risen for the Gamecocks.

BREAKOUT PLAYER:

Julio Jones from Alabama. Sound stupid? I know, I know: “he’s listed as one of the best receivers in the SEC!”

In 2008, Julio had 924 yards and four touchdowns. In 2009, a year plagued by injury for the big man, he recorded only 596 yards and duplicated his four TD performance.

Why is he a breakout player this year when expectations were so high from the beginning?

Nick Saban. He’s learned. And he’s realized that in order to repeat he needs to use ALL of his available weaponry - not just the two rumblers he’s got in the running back stable. Greg McElroy may very well prove to be one of the most efficient and accurate passers in the game, and as any good mama will tell her cute daughter: “if you got it, flaunt it!”

The Tim Tebow effect was that players could not lock double teams or roll coverage to the side of the best Florida receivers, knowing full well that overloads or double teams leading to open areas meant Timmy would take off. The Tebow effect is in full play with the running backs of Alabama. Taking men out of the box to double cover Julio means Richardson and Ingram will go bonkers on a defense - this leaves Julio in a LOT of one-on-one coverages, healthy, and with a very accurate passer to hit him in stride.

Julio will easily have 1,350 yards and nine touchdowns this year. Breakout? Sure, why not.

NEW GUY AWARD:

This one was tough, if only because two guys, both new to their programs, and at the same position, are in the running.

Cameron Newton at Auburn may turn out to be their saving grace. Not that last year was a BAD year for Auburn, but how many games do they win with a quarterback who can make the mid-range pass AND goes dangerous outside of the pocket?

The wild card is Jeremiah Masoli, the former Oregon Duck who now will run the spot at Ole Miss after Houston Nutt gave him the opportunity to walk on and play. Masoli is a former Heisman candidate before leaving Oregon, and for some reason has dropped off the radar of most spectators.

I’ve got to give the nod here to Newton. While Masoli will be fighting for his position (I don’t think any further then week three, he’ll be deeply ingrained as the starter by then,) Newton was clearly the man from week one. And he’ll be playing for a team that until the final week of the season will be in the mix for an SEC Western Division Championship. Newton is a big, strong, powerful guy who can run the football as well, and will score some … ::sigh:: … “Tebowesque” touchdowns from his spot. This guy is gonna be a huge plus for the War Eagle Tigers.

COACH OF THE YEAR:

This one is going to be tough, mainly because I think the coach that wins the National Championship - if it happens - instantly becomes your guy. I can think of three that fly to the top of the list and a few dark horses as well. Nick Saban is the coach of the defending National Champs. Urban Meyer will be winning the SEC East and giving Coach Saban a run for his money. Gene Chizik has turned doubters into believers and optimists in just one year and looks to improve on that record. Houston Nutt would LOVE to jump into the discussion based on a spectacular season to make up for a disappointing one last year, and Steve Spurrier at South Carolina will hope Marcus Lattimore can put him into the discussion as well.

But I’m going to go back to Auburn here as well. Man, if I there, you’d call me a homer, wouldn’t you?

Here’s why Gene Chizik is my guy: results. Alabama is going to be a one loss team this year, and either Florida or Auburn in the Iron Bowl will be that squad. Auburn will lose two games. But look at where they’re coming from. In two years to bring Auburn from mediocrity to a two loss program, whereas Saban will let Alabama go from National Title game to fighting for their SEC lives during the regular season, gives Gene the nudge over coach Saban. Urban .. well, in the eastern division, you’re just not getting the same love.

That’s all for now. Look for your TEAM nominations, “New Guy” award, game of the year, fearless predictions .. and of course, your CONFERENCE predictions, soon to come!

(Oh, and for those of you who like ACC football .. HA! .. maybe if you’re lucky I’ll get yours soon too.)

–rb3

Rob Brown General

Sometimes we let athletes get bigger than the game. It’s human nature. Only 32 men get to be a starting NFL quarterback. Only 30 men get to be starting point guards in the NBA. And only a handful of those ever to get be considered “elite” at their position.

But what happens when they do reach that plateau? What happens when players think the rules of us mere mortals no longer apply to them?

Michael Vick happens. Ben Roethlisberger happens. Kobe Bryant happens. Matt Jones happens.

All of these men fell victim to one of the traps of fame; believing that rules of law and common sense no longer apply, that our morals and ethics and system of justice weren’t capable of touching them. They become larger then life in their own minds, convinced that our respect of their ability to shoot a 17 footer or throw an out-route means we’ll let them off the hook for just about anything.

And unfortunately, we, as fans, allow this. We, as fans, let these athletes think that they’re more important than us, the folks who pay hundreds of dollars a year to support them and our teams.

Now, the issue has spread to high school.

Weeks ago, three members of the Pace High School baseball team were arrested and charged with felony vandalism in excess of $1,000 for breaking a gate to a community in the north end of Santa Rosa county. The school handbook of Santa Rosa County states that any athlete arrested and charged with a felony is to instantly be barred from sports until the issue is resolved. The Santa Rosa County Superintendent of Schools, Tim Wyrosdick, decided to change that rule, allowing the players to play in a District 1-5A Final against Tallahassee Chiles. One of the players arrested was a starting pitcher for the Patriots, who had accepted a scholarship to play baseball at Michigan.

The schoolboard not only missed a perfect opportunity to turn the mistakes of one 17 year old and two 18 year old players into a learning lesson for them and all of their peers, but actually ended up teaching all students the exact opposite; that rules will be changed for you if you can throw a nasty changeup.

No one is mad at the kids. They’re teenagers. They make mistakes. Everyone does stupid things at that age. What is upsetting is the adults, the authority figures at the school who taught everyone who goes to Pace, read area papers or listen to local talk radio shows, that they will change the rules for athletes.

The most disappointing lesson is learned by the athlete himself. He’s been granted a golden ticket, a get out of jail free card, a pass to act selfishly and wrecklessly and sometimes illegally because his talent is too valuable for a team to waste.

Other unfortunate attitudes also develop. The valedictorian now feels like the first baseman can get away with a crime. The flutist thinks the quarterback can cheat and there’s no issue. The debate team feels the basketball team can skip class and it’s ok.

The authority figures who allowed these kids to play didn’t do themselves, the school, or the fans of Pace any favors. In fact, a disservice was done to all who have ever questioned why athletes always seem to get a lesser punishment than the rest of us.

This was a golden opportunity to teach life lessons to many kids, not just discipline a few. Sure, the Patriots won, and are on their way to the state final four. But is a run at state really worth the ideas planted into teenage minds about the invulnerability of athletes? These kids could’ve learned that the actions of athletes are governed by the same set of rules and laws and morals as everyone else.

Isn’t that right, Mr. Roethlisberger?

Rob Brown General

Roger Goodell, the commission of the National Football League, has decided that sex in a bathroom is worth a six game suspension.

Now, before you start banging around the “but Rob, it was rape!” or “but Rob, it was forced” or “but Rob, who WOULDN’T do it?”

Answer: me. But that’s not the point.

Let’s reiterate, before we get going - I think Ben Roethlisberger is a freaking idiot. I don’t understand how you put yourself into those situations repeatedly when you’ve already been taken to task for doing it once.

But being STUPID does NOT mean you’re a criminal.

Let’s once again say this: the NFL as the employer has the right to suspend any player for any reason, pending an appeal from the player’s union. And I’m ok with that - suspension is a deterrant. HOPEFULLY the threat of suspension without pay is going to prevent some players stop being morons.

BUT - a SIX GAME suspension for Big Ben? For a guy who’s yet to be charged with a crime? For a guy who has spent exactly zero seconds in the back of a police cruiser? For a guy who, while stupid, has done exactly zero wrong and - if read loosely - has done nothing directly against the NFL player conduct policy?

In 2008, the Buffalo Bills played with starting running back Marshawn Lynch, who was suspended for three games. THREE games. Why?

Because he was illegally carrying an illegal handgun around. Illegally. In an illegal manner.

It was a misdemeanor crime. A crime. A criminal offense, which he had to plea bargain out of to not spend time in jail.

A THREE GAME SUSPENSION.

Then there was Brandon Marshall, who had to sit on the Denver sidelines for three games as well. Marshall, of course did nothing illegal.

Unless you count the DUI. And the two seperate counts of domestic abuse/disturbance. I mean, other than that.

So let’s get this right:

Lynch: misdemeanor gun crime - 3 games.
Marshall: DUI and two domestic abuse/disturbances - 3 games.
Roethlisberger: sex in a bathroom - 6 games.

Yeah. Seems perfectly fair to me.

-rb

Rob Brown General

Once again, the National Collegiate Athletics Association is attempting to do everything in their power to keep smaller conference schools as far away from being a threat to any major conference team as possible, and this time they’re using their legislative power to make that happen.

Last week, the NCAA legislative council voted that bowl selection committees may now give a team with an overall record of 6-6 the same consideration that it gives a team with a 7-5 record or better when determining who plays in a bowl game. In the past, all Division-I teams with records of 7-5 or better had to be selected before a bowl would be permitted to choose a school with a record of 6-6. The new rule, proposed by the Big 12, would allow those 6-6 teams to have the same amount of consideration.

Obviously, the NCAA will cite money as the reason the rule was approved. For instance, it’s easy to argue that a 6-6 Big12 team like Texas A&M will be a larger draw than, say, the Western Athletic Conference’s Idaho, who finished 7-5 with a thrilling three point loss to bowl-eligible BYU to end 2009. But does that mean the Vandals players and coaches and fans are any less deserving than the Aggies? Absolutely not.

This is the NCAA’s attempt to use legislation to prevent a small school from fighting its way into the BCS title game, which has managed to dodge silver bullets fired at it from critics every year. The whole ordeal started when upstart Bronces of Boise State upset Oklahoma in the 2006 Fiesta Bowl. It was then that the NCAA realized that small schools could eventually slay the giants of major conference football. And it was then the NCAA decided they needed to do everything in their power to prevent it from happening again.

And don’t use the “the BCS is a seperate entity” argument. The NCAA and BCS are in a business relationship. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander in this case. The BCS knows if the NCAA is happy, the contract remains. So, it will select the bowl participants it knows the NCAA wants to keep the NCAA happy. If the NCAA is happy, the playoff talk is unneccessary and the BCS remains.

It was demonstrated last year when the BCS bowl participants were selected. The TCU Horned Frogs, who recorded a 12-0 record in Mountain West play, were paired with perennial small school favorite and Western Athletic Conference Champion Boise State, also 12-0, in the Fiesta Bowl. The Sugar Bowl selected second-in-the-SEC University of Florida to do battle with Big East Champion Cincinnati. The NCAA, alongside the bowl selection committees, knew good and well that not only did both have a chance at beating Cincinnati, but both could’ve given the mighty Gators a run for their money. Imagine the shot to the heart the BCS and the NCAA would’ve taken if either one of those major conference teams would’ve lost. Now, imagine the chaos if BOTH major conference teams would’ve fallen to a pair of smaller conference teams. That was a distinct possibility, and the NCAA knew it as well as any regular fan of college football.

The legislation laid down by the NCAA is the stepping stone in completely barring any small conference school from getting a chance at a championship game. It starts with the NCAA allowing bowl committees to award larger conference schools who didn’t perform more credit. It ends with larger conference schools getting into championship games before small conference schools when the small conference school performed more admirably.

Don’t believe me? Ask Boise State fans. Or ask Texas Christian fans. Or maybe even more importantly, ask Oklahoma fans.

The NCAA has decided to legislate against their fears instead of face them. I couldn’t have disagreed more with this decision.

–rb

(Edited Tuesday, April 20th at 5:48 P.M. to place both Idaho and Boise State in their correct conference.)

Rob Brown General

Some two-and-a-half months after the Super Bowl and endless hours of networks trying to convince us that rumors, speculation, opinion, and conjecture is the same as real news, we’re finally ready for the first big event of the 2010 NFL season:  the 2010 NFL Draft.

Broadcast for the first time over three days (beginning on Thursday, April 22 at 6:30 pm Central), the NFL draft is the first real activity that gives an indication of the direction each of the 32 NFL teams will take in the coming year(s).

The draft analysis below assumes that no teams will trade out of their current slots, which is like assuming the NBA playoffs will happen without Paul Pierce exaggerating the severity of a boo-boo.

As the time before the draft dwindles, two things become clear:  a) Browns team president Mike Holmgren wants a franchise quarterback, and b) the only one he sees in this year’s draft is Oklahoma’s Sam Bradford.  As of Sunday morning, it’s looking more and more like the Browns are working hard to package some of their early round draft choices (they have 5 of the first 100 picks) to move from #7  in round one up to the first overall pick to take the QB they need.

If the Browns and Rams do swap first round position, look for the Rams to take Jimmy Clausen at #7 and the Bills, who are also in desperate need of a franchise signal caller, to take Florida’s Tim Tebow out of the first-round purgatory I’ve predicted and jump him all the way from out of the first round to #9.  The difference in money between a second round pick and a top-10 selection will fund a lot of circumcisions for pro-life inmates, or whatever Tebow intends do to with his money.

As is the case every year, Al Davis and his crack team of a thousand monkeys are working feverishly as they prepare to make the stupidist possible selection with the Raiders first-round pick (#8 overall).

With no further ado (but a hundred more caveats), here is the Official Smokey Joe 2010 NFL Draft Preview:

Joe Mayes NFL

Ironic, isn’t it?

Over the past month, Tiger Woods has mentioned returning to his Buddhist roots on four separate occasions.  He said he had gotten away from the values he was taught as a child and was anxious to return.

A fundamental doctrine of Buddhism is Karma, the law of moral causation.  Put more simply, Karma is the law of cause and effect in the ethical realm.

As a Buddhist, Tiger had to at least be aware that his path to redemption would lead through the karmic wasteland he created with his own…uh…hands.

While the details of Tiger’s personal “transgressions” will likely never see the light of day, it seems apparent that, at a minimum, he treated women badly.  He went through women like he went through the competition on the golf course:  he plowed through them with a blind focus on #1, with no signs of compassion or remorse.

While Tiger was walking his path of destruction, the other great golfer of our generation, Phil Mickelson, was travelling a far different path.

As most people know, Mickelson’s wife, Amy, and his mother were both diagnosed with breast cancer about a year ago.  Because of this, Mickelson has spent much of the past year away from the golf course, but for far different reasons that Woods.

Rather than extra-marital dalliances, Mickelson has been spending his time caring for his wife, mother, and his children, two of whom are daughters.

 In other words, while Tiger was treating women badly, Phil was being supporting, loving, and caring.

And on Sunday, the golf world got to see Karma in all its glory.

Of course Karma had nothing to do with Mickelson winning the tournament.  He won his third green jacket because he’s learned how to use his cowboy mentality on the course to his advantage, as evidenced by his impossible/miraculous/routine-by-Phil’s-standards shot from the pine straw on number 13.  He won because he’s learned how to keep his emotions in check and focus on the shot at hand.

No, Karma showed up after the tournament.  Following eleven months of him putting the needs of his wife, mother, and daughters (and son) ahead of his own, guess who was waiting for Mickelson at the 18^th green?  Waiting to embrace him and share in his joy were the women in his life:  his mother, his daughters, and his beloved wife, Amy (and his son, for whom he has provided such a fine example of how a man should carry himself).

Following his 4^th place finish – certainly respectable given a self-inflicted five-month layoff – the only people waiting to greet Tiger were his agent, his publicist, and a security detail.

The law of cause and effect in the ethical realm.

Tiger said he was returning to his Buddhist roots, back to the values he was taught as a child.  Turns out that his path back to Buddhism ran straight through a little town in eastern Georgia called “Karma.”

Joe Mayes General

Alright boys and girls. You’ve requested it, and you’ve got it:

IT’S TIME FOR THE 100.3 THE TICKET NCAA BRACKET CHALLENGE!

(Man, words look so much cooler when they’re typed out like that …)

Anyway, we’re going to give away some prizes to our winners again this year - stay tuned for information over the next few days.

In the meantime - get your butts over there, get registered and set up! The brackets will lock up at game time tomorrow, so don’t be like me and waste time - go fill them out now! Tell your boss Rob Brown said you’re allowed to fill out brackets instead of work - I’m sure he’ll go for it!

Here’s the link, and the group name and password are as follows:

Group: Ticket Listeners
Password: WhoDat

Good luck, and we’ll see you guys in second plac…. I mean, in the competition!!

-rb

Rob Brown General

Wow. I knew people had issues with Lane Kiffin. Whether you’re a Raiders fan, the Crypt Keepe….. I mean Al Davis, or a Volunteer fan, the “Lame Kitten” jokes (real original, guys) haven’t stopped during the man’s entire career.

But Esquire, a men’s magazine (that’s a bunch of pieces of paper with pictures stapled together for those of you with the internet,) has stepped the smack-talk up quite a bit.

Now we all know that during March, everyone - magazines, radio and TV shows, and that drunk guy in the bar - sets up a bracket that has nothin to do with basketball to determine the best of something: cars, games, girls who have cheated on me, etc…

Well, Esquire has decided that as the premiere magazine of men who still read magazines, that they have the right to set the bracket and determine the matchup in the bracket for “sexiest women on the planet.”

Now, there’s some good matchups and I’ve got my favorites.

In the movies region, Megan Fox is a clear one seed, no doubt.

Tournament over. She wins.

But she’s got competition in that region. Eva Mendes, Sienna Miller, Anne Hathaway, and Jessica Alba all make appearances alongside a lot of women I’ve never heard of but will gladly Google Image here in just a moment. (Hey, it’s research. I wanna make sure I make good picks here!)

Of course, in the “music and fashion” bracket, Beyonce gets the one seed, which I’m PERFECTLY OK with.

Damn you, Jay-Z. Damn you.

Although she’s the Kentucky to Megan Fox’s Kansas, Beyonce’s got a very tough bracket to fight through as well. Coming out of the music and entertainment region we also find dark-horse Avril Lavigne as a 16 seed (hey, if you haven’t seen the plaid-skirt outfit in the “Girlfriend” video, don’t blame me. Blame yourself. Go YouTube it now, I’ll wait…..

….now, if you actually went and listened to that song and it’s stuck in your head and/or your coworkers are judging you right now, don’t blame me. I said WATCH THE VIDEO, not listen to the song.) We’ve also got Mrs. Perfect, Gisele Bundchen (crazy awesome Nordic “u” with the two little dots left out because I don’t know how to make it) as a 5 seed, Adriana Lima as the 4 seed, Rihanna as a 6 seed, Carrie Underwood as an upset-Beyonce-favorite 3 seed, Katy Perry as a 14 seed …. actually, can we rename this bracet as “fun to look at but keep the speakers muted” region?

In the television bracket, or the “women you don’t know but will be looking up on the internet soon anyway” region, we find names such as Heidi Klum as a 16 seed (and, if I may, the worst seed in the tournament? I mean, I’m not “Project Runway” guy, and maybe sleeping with Seal loses you some hot points, but let’s be honest: she could lose a thousandyfive hot points and still be hotter than any woman YOU’VE been in the same room as.) Sarah Silverman, another dark horse who might not be the most stunning but is easily the most offensive…. I mean, funny…. woman… on the list. Olivia Munn, who if you’re a nerd like me and have G4 you’ve seen dress up at and panted over as Slave Leia multiple times, sneaks in as a 15 seed while Heidi Montag BEFORE plastic surgery takes on Heidi Montag AFTER plastic surgery in the 7/10 matchup.

But then we get to the best bracket of all: the sports bracket. I love this bracket, mainly because it’s the only one filled with women I know and can recall in my mental memory without having to do a Google Image search. It’s like a superpower that doesn’t save the world. It’s better.

Included in this list are the matchup between my dreamgirl Erin Andrews and my dreamgirl Danica Patrick as the 8/9, and EASILY the most exciting first round matchup. My dreamgirl Gina Carano, and the only woman on the list who could easily kick my you-know-what takes on Serena “the screamer” Williams in the 13/4 matchup. In a special tag-team matchup, Olympic skiiers and my dream girls Lindsay Vonn and Julia Mancuso matchup against The Panamanian Women’s Cricket Team in the 6/11 matchup (U S A! U S A! U S A!) while in the “tall and leggy” matchup of my dreamgirl Stacy Keibler takes on my dreamgirl Anna Kournakova in the 3/14 matchup. Also, American figureskater and my dreamgirl Tanith Belbin makes an appearance, although I’m not sure why if she made it my dreamgirl Torah Bright of Australia didn’t get in.

But of course, the matchup of the whole tournament might be the biggest upset in the history of any bracket ever ever ever. In fact, if there was a seeded tournament bracket of upsets in seeded tournament brackets, this one would be a #1 seed if it comes true.

The matchup?

Clearly you're out of bounds, Natalie. Oh well, you can have as many strokes as you want.

Yes. That’s right ladies and gentlemen. In a complete showing of “we hate you” from Esquire Magazine, the fine folks have decided that the 1 seed in the sports region would be smoking hot golfer Natalie Gulbis taking on extreme underdog, 16 seed Lane Kiffin, head coach of the University of Southern California Trojans.

Something tells me the managing editor of that particiular rag maybe, by chance, attended a South Eastern Conference school who wears oragnge and who’s former coach was a title sponsor of the local Krispy Kreme-a-thon?

Just a guess.

(Also, Megan Fox is going to win this tournament. Sorry Lane. I like you in the Final Four though!!)

-rb

Rob Brown General

For the second time in as many years, Ben Roethlisyoucantspellhislastnameonyourfirsttryeither has found himself in hot water for sexual misconduct. This time, it’s at the hands (teehee) … ALLEDGEDLY … of a 20 year old college sorority girl in Placeyouveneverheardofville, Georgia.

I don’t really want to get into the details of the whole thing, because I don’t know the details of the whole thing. I don’t think anyone does. So far, what’s been said is that the girl mentioned there were some activities in the bathroom that apparently she wasn’t cool with. Big Ben stated that there were some activities that took place in the bathroom that weren’t actual intercourse, but were hankypanky. Hankypanky, of course, has recently been approved to represent sexual activities that aren’t actual sex by a panel of elite scientists. And of course, by elite scientists, I mean “me and about four other Morning Wrap listeners having the conversation.”

Frequently when you write a column of this nature, it takes a position. You take one side or the other. For or against. Cold or hot. Up or down. Yes or no. SEC or anyone else.

Unfortunately, I’ve officially talked myself in a circle on this one and I’m not sure which side is right - it’s the classic devil-on-one-shoulder-angel-on-the-other battle. Except in this case we’ve gone to 15 rounds, both are cut, and neither camp is ready to throw in the towel yet.

GIVE IT UP - YOU’RE A ROLE MODEL NOW.

On one hand, it’s very easy to want to tell our models the old “Uncle Ben from Spiderman” theory:

“With great power, comes great responsibility.”

Aristotle .. Voltaire ..... Uncle Ben Parker.

To heck with Chuck Barkley. You’re a world class athlete, you’re on television every week, and whether you want it or not, people look up to you. So, whether you like it or not, you have a social responsibility to uphold. While it may not mean much to you, it means a lot of the parents of kids out there who have to convince them why they shouldn’t be like you everytime you mess up.

Frankly, our athletes are some of the most popular people on the planet. Whether you agree or not, the ability to perform athletic feats that the vast vast vast vast vast vast vast vast ……… ::breath:: ……. vast majority of people are unable to perform places you into a bracket of celebrity in this country.

With that celebrity and ability, of course, comes money. And with that money, fame. And with that fame, ultimately, a form of power which can influence the thoughts and actions of young fans growing within the country.

If you’re given that much power and celebrity by the country, it’s because they want to be entertained by you. They want you to represent them, in some way, shape, or form.

So, don’t you, as an athlete and as someone who’s profited off of that love from fans, don’t you owe them something in return? Don’t you owe them at least the representation of someone who’s respectable, who’s clean cut?

GIVE IT UP - THEY’RE JUST ATHLETES.

No! Athletes are just people. They’re frequently twenty-something year old kids who find themselves dropped into a world where everything is at their fingertips, and all they have to do to maintain it is win.

Oh, and as far as representing you? It’s very simple: if you don’t approve of what they do, don’t support them. Don’t buy the jerseys, don’t watch the games, and don’t buy from the sponsors of the player, team, or sport. It’s that simple.

Don’t put the athletes on any pedastal. The fact is, they can run fast, throw far, hit straight, shoot well, or whatever else it is that seperates them from you. Nothing more.

So why respect them more than, say, your neighborhood doctor? A person who spends four extra years in school and thousands of dollars and who’s job is to save lives - not goals. If an athlete is successful, we get to wear a tshirt the next day, and that’s the end of it. If a doctor is successful, someone stays alive. Really - which of those deserves fireworks and Queens’ “We are the champions,” really?

THE FACT IS….

Whether an athlete is a role model is ultimately up to you, the fans.

If you like Big Ben because he’s a Steeler, that’s on you.

If you like Big Ben because he’s clutch in the Super Bowl .. twice .. that’s on you.

If you dislike Big Ben because he’s not the most cerebral player in the league, that’s on you.

If you dislike Big Ben because he apparently can’t keep his zipper up, that’s on you.

It’s on you. Not them. Don’t like them? Good for you for having convictions that prevent you from going down a path you can’t support.

Don’t care? Good for you. They’re just athletes. They’re nothing more than you or I, minus a few bank account figures and the ability to shoot the long ball. Who cares what they do?

So whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’r………………….. wait. Wrong saying, my bad.

Whether you think they’re role models, or think they’re not role models, you’re right. It’s in your head, and no where else.

There’s no right or wrong answer.

And that, my friends, is the most un-radio-friendly point of view I can take - and it’s the only one I can stumble upon.

Rob Brown General